The power of "yet"

When your child tells you that he does not know how to do something, your answer needs to be "not yet".

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"You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.”

- Winnie the Pooh

7-year-old Zachary asked me one day while we were hanging out, "Do you know the power of "yet"?"

I did because I have read about "the growth mindset" by psychologist Carol Dweck. Not waiting for my answer, the boy went on to explain. "The power of "yet" means that if I do not know how to do something, that just means that I do not know how to do it yet."

Isn't that a powerful concept to ingrain into our children and students?

So often, our kids are made to feel stupid when they are unable to hit the milestones pre-determined for them. That is so wrong in many ways. For one, each kid develops at a different rate yet we use the same yardstick for them all. And then we unfairly label them as slow or stupid.

It is very possible that they just do not know how to do it yet.

What is a growth mindset?

The growth mindset reinforces the fact that the brain develops as it is being used. The more you work at it, the better you become. The neuroscience term is "Neuroplasticity" - the ability for the brain to change and grow.

Carol Dweck writes “In a growth mindset, people believe that their most basic abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work—brains and talent are just the starting point". So for people like that, their thinking is "If I do not know how to do something, that just means that I do not know how to do it yet."

The opposite is a fixed mindset. One where the person believes that their achievement (or lack of) is a direct result of whether they are born dumb or smart, and no amount of effort can change the outcome.

I am grateful that Zachary was taught about the power of "yet". That makes him feel almost invincible in any challenge that he will face.

Tell your child about the power of yet.

It is an encouraging position to start from. And if we say it often enough, "..this view creates a love of learning and a resilience that is essential for great accomplishment” [Carol Dweck]